kepasrahan aku menjadi seorang dokter.

"Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before."

-Mignon McLaughlin

assalamualaikum, hai semua :)

alaaa ok, ok. tau lah dokter faryn dah lama menghilang. tapi jangan lah merajuk tak nak jenguk belog dokter faryn lagi dah. hehehhhe. anyways, kejap je ni. nanti aku update lagi. this time just nak share one email that i read this morning. untuk makluman kawan-kawan sekelian alam, email ni sebenarnya sudah agak berzaman ye dihantar kepada aku, dan aku (yang hampehhh ni) baru je membaca nya di pagi yang berbahagia ni. HAHAHAHHA. sorry sangat dik eh.

so here we go.

On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 9:57 PM, Az*** A*** <###########@gmail.com> wrote:

Salam kak.

I'm one of your blogvisitor.

Tengah buat A-level, minggu depan (rabu) ada interview nak masuk universiti. Tengah nervous.

Do you mind giving some advice? ~i love your spontaneity and cool-ness (from ur posts). Wanna be that kind of doctor. Not too work work work..

Atau, boleh tak citer secara ringkas, your life as a doctor? Susah sangat?

I need to REALLY know an overview of a doctor's life, like behind the scene things.

I like science, it makes me curious,

i like the thought of knowing why people get this or that symptoms,

i love watching HOUSE , i know some MOs can bully you,

and i know, to be a doctor you need to be a student first and that's not easy.

But what i dont know is how the feeling is, waking up as a doctor? do you feel lucky?

Saya tahu kena work hard tapi i still watch TV.. is it bad?

Please reply. thank you.

assalamualaikum wrt. wbt.

a**** a***.

and this is how i replied back.

w'salam. hi dear :)

oh my. i dun even realized i got this email hehhe. sorri sangat dik. akak ni kdg-kdg memang tak menjenguk email pun. huhu. anyways, since i read this after your interview, obviously, how did it go? mesti awak dah accept pun kan. entah-entah dah selamat pun jadik medical student. hehehehhe.

actually, honestly speaking, akak macam 50-50. sorry lah it might be too late for me to even suggest/"hasut" u (haha), but i still want to let u know how i really feel about this job. best jugak dapat meluahkan perasaan ;P

first of all, i think certain things have changed through out the years. the kind of patients u are dealing now is much much more challenging than they were then. awak tau lah, sekarang ni kan dah banyak kemudahan. so patient ni kadang-kadang dah macam dah tak berapa nak appreciate kite. awak boleh bezakan tau nanti antara makcik-pakcik, atuk-atuk zaman dulu-dulu dengan manusia-manusia yang zaman sekarang ni. kalau patients yang dah berumur tu, punya lah dorang respect kite sampai ber-puan-puan dengan kita. kita pun sampai naik segan. tapi yang muda-muda ni dorg pandang kite sebelah mata je. mentang-mentang lah kita muda-muda dah jadik dokter. dorang buat kesimpulan kita ni taktau pape. they always want to argue with u. the fact that u have a medical degree does not always mean u are right nowadays. dorang selalu ingat dorg lagi pandai. just because, they've read about 1001 things from the internet. they don't appreciate your experiences anymore. itu yang kdg2 akak tak boleh tahan. sangat-sangat irritating. kecik hati tau.

so u kena banyak-banyak, banyaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk bersabar. tapi kadang-kadang tu memang akan boleh hilang sabar lah. sebab u kerja penat, then terkena pulak dengan orang macam tu. mesti lah sakit hati kan. huhu.

another thing is,

ppl who dont know must be thinking that doctors are rich. no, we are not. if u compare the workloads and how much the goverment is paying u, it is not worth it at all. u kerja macam nak mati, tapi gaji sikit. huhuh. unless u join private lah kan. tapi itu ikut sendiri-sendiri la. ada org ok je dgn gaji dia. tapi utk akak yang ber-hawa nafsu tinggi nak bermewah-mewah ni, memang tak seronok la rasa. hehehhe.

but still, kita kerja bukan semata-mata sebab duit kan :)

nanti bila awak dah jadi dokter, u have to be prepared that ure not going to have a LIFE. busy-busy-busy. then bila free, u akan melepek je. because thats the only time u can rest and rest. especially during housemanship. last time, i used to take leave just because i want to sleep. hehehe. kalau husband awak dokter jugak, lagi lah double perasaan takde life tu. u have to take turn to take care of ur child/house chores and do your calls in between. kadang-kadang memang boleh depressed.

then, u have to have a thick skin. u know why, sebab u memang akan kena bebel-belel dengan your superiors. sometimes, for errr, nothing. nanti sampai at one point, u akan rasa immune dah bila kena marah. hehhe. tapi depends lah, if u do your job properly or if u can bodek your superior really really good, then u probably wont get into much trouble ;) cuma selalunya masa jadik houseman, memang akan selalu kena marah. itu standard.sorry to say, but u all akan jadik macam tempat melepaskan geram. biasa lah tu. MO's bila kena marah dengan boss, mestilah nak release dekat houseman kan. hahha.

but despite all that, deep down inside, i still love being a doctor. i despise the job sometimes, but when i think about all the patients that thank me for doing my job, i feel truly blessed. that's the only thing that keeps me going :)

lagipun, my parents selalu ingatkan akak, suruh niatkan kerja sebagai satu ibadah. bayangkan all the time that u've sacrificed to treat a patient sampai tak sempat makan/minum/kencing-berak and tukarkan kepada pahala ibadah yang kita terima. FREE aje. subhanALLAH. sebab tu, bila akak rasa macam nak maraahhhhh je, cepat-cepat ber-istighfar, mintak dijauhkan perasaan tak ikhlas bekerja tu. huhu.

so, the bottom line is, do what u love ok. jangan jadik dokter sebab terpaksa. tu paling penting. sebab memang boleh jadik GILA kalau u kerja dokter and u cant cope with it later.

ehmmmm, sebenarnya banyak lagi nak cerita. but then akak taknak akak macam discourage awak pulak nanti. cuma pesan akak, kalau awak dah jadik dokter nanti, awak kerja seikhlas-ikhlasnya, insya ALLAH akan dipermudahkan :)

semoga ALLAH sentiasa memberkati kita, dokter-dokter di sekelian alam. amin.

and do let me know when u become a doctor ok.

and to answer your question, do i feel lucky?

YES, i am. with all the things that i have now :)

errr, agak-agak adik ni stress tak nak jadik dokter after baca email aku ni. risau jugak aku. huhuhu. tapi itu lah sejujur-jujurnya apa yang aku rasa. banyak lagi yang nak diluah dendam sebenarnya, tapi kang aku pulak yang stress nanti. so lebih baik lah aku diam. HAHAHHA. *gila kejam ayat*


ok, i see u. saya janji saya akan update lagi. stay tuned tau. (yelah tu) :P

*i loveeeee my mama dokter*

ingat sama cik puan mem besar ini lagi? HEHE.